"Not in their goals but in their transitions
are people great." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
There's no getting around it: Life is transition, from cradle to grave. By the time
we're 40, we have grown up, left home, been educated, started and possibly
changed careers. Within the realm of relationship alone, transitions can include
marriage, divorce, parenthood, changes in health, sexual issues, incarceration,
military deployment, caring for our aging parents, and more.
Unfortunately for some, abuse has also been part of life; and while it may have
occurred in childhood, we can remain trapped by it in adulthood.
It is important to examine how transition, loss, and grief were demonstrated
to us in our family of origin - because that is likely how we handle our own losses
Author Pauline Boss, PhD, has stated: "Closure only occurs in real estate."
Ambiguous losses are those that are likely to be unrecognized by society, such as
the loss that accompanies adoption; still birth, suicide, abortion, or murder;
incarceration of a loved one; immigration; and many more. If we are not
permitted to grieve our losses, we suffer with unresolved grief,
which shows up in other areas of our life in surprising ways. Sometimes,
we do not understand why certain situations or people evoke from us seemingly
disproportionate reactions. These reactions may be the result of unresolved grief
from ambiguous loss.
I want to help you connect those dots, grow in self-awareness, and
effectively manage your transitions.
When exploring loss, we quickly stumble upon our beliefs. These beliefs form our
views of the world. They are like a pair of glasses that we put on every single
day, affecting how we interpret everything that we see and experience. Beliefs
become attachments which we hold to varying degrees, for good or ill.
It is impossible to overestimate the control that attachment, loss,
and grief hold over us. Suffering comes when we do not recognize
our attachments and we fail to complete the necessary tasks of grieving our losses.
"Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"
-Henry David Thoreau
Let's take a journey together, uncovering forgotten pieces of your life; discovering hidden strength; and recovering hope and joy for the days ahead.
With me you will find compassion, encouragement, gentle humor, and the desire and belief for your wholeness.
"We have to live today by what truth we can get today, and be ready tomorrow to call it falsehood." -William James